|
|
Directed by Written by Based on the Starring Rated R 91 Minutes
Presented by |
 |
||
 |
||||
|
THE THING Review
Remakes are all the rage now in Hollywood…and the success rate is about 90%. Which means about 90% of them make a profit. Are they good? Oh, no….not even close. Most of them are horrifically bad…painfully bad….kick in the balls bad. And it’s getting worse. Used to they would only remake little known movies or cult movies…but now nothing is sacred. The greatest horror movies of all time are being remade…with differing degrees of failure attached to them. Remake “Psycho”???? What moron would try that? Well….a moron named Gus. Remake “The Hitcher”??? WITHOUT RUTGER HAUER??? What dickweed would try that…? Remake the granddaddy of them all….”The Texas Chain Saw Massacre”?.....Okay, you gave me Jessica Biel in some nice, tight, wet clothes…so I’ll pass on that. Remake “Dawn of the Dead”??? ARE YOU INSANE???....Okay, actually you didn’t do a bad job on that one. Zombies that run? Okay…stolen from “28 Days Later”…but interesting way to shake things up. Remake “Oceans Eleven”??? Are you….wait, wrong genre. Okay…my point is this: Some movies should not be redone. They should not even be attempted to be redone. But if you absolutely have to do it…make it better….make it different…make it your own. “The Thing” is one of those few remakes that, in my humble opinion, absolutely blows away the original. It’s a rough, mean, nasty piece of business. It’s a movie that in all probability cannot be made today. Bottom line is it’s a grim movie…that has aged just fine. What’s to love about it? Come on, what’s NOT to love about it?
Is “The Thing” a horror movie? Well, I certainly am of the opinion that it is one of the greatest horror movies. The sense of fear that permeates the film….the horrifying creature…and the complete mystery of who is human or who is alien. As the viewer, we want to stand behind the hero (Russell), but even that becomes a question mark as we begin to wonder who has been taken over by the creature. The film begins with a Norwegian helicopter entering the U.S. Research station somewhere in Antarctica. They are chasing, and trying to kill, a dog that is running for the American base. Unsure of what is going on (damn that language barrier), they watch as the helicopter crashes and the last man charges into camp with rifle drawn and firing. One American is hit…and the rifleman is shot down. Why was he chasing the dog? What happened to the rest of the Norwegian camp? And what is the secret with that dog? It’s all answered in a horrifying manner…as the Americans quickly discover that the Norwegian team found something in the ice…and it’s not friendly. They bring a burned out corpse of something they’ve never seen before…something that can transform itself. Before long, the creature makes itself known…and the scary truth comes out that it can take any form it devours…including human. What follows is a constant battle of wills as the fear hits the men that any one of them can be the creature. The paranoia hits the highest levels…as the small group realizes it’s up to them to stop the creature before it can reach civilization. One among them, however…has already decided that nobody will reach civilization. The radio, the helicopter, the tractors are all destroyed. They are alone…knowing that rescue will be months away. Who is the creature? Who is human? Who to trust? The audience is left as clueless as the characters…and the permeating fear is stifling throughout. It could be anyone…even the man we’ve invested our time in, as evidence points to even MacReady being replaced by “The Thing”. The explosive finale can’t be forgotten, especially MacReady’s “Yeah, fuck you too!!” to the creature as he blows it to bits…along with the rest of the camp. Is this a happy ending? Has our hero defeated the creature? Perhaps…but even as the fires rage and he slumps to the ground…there is another survivor. The final exchange between them is memorable…and leaves us wondering. Neither man is sure about the other…but with the base gone and the Antarctic cold ready to bring about their cold deaths, there is little they can do. “The Thing” is a movie that scared me, because there had simply never been a creature like this on-screen before. I had been scared by vampires and werewolves, had been scared by a shark, by a Shape, by any number of psychos. But the creature in “The Thing” was above and beyond anything I had seen before…and I believe the effects hold up to this day. It was a creature without reason…and covered in blood. Where was the head? The legs? When would it pop up? This is a dark movie…and while watching it just the other night, I am struck by how little it has aged. Sure, the computers are antiquated (gotta love Kurt saying “Cheating bitch” to the chess computer as he pours his whiskey into it) but the movie stands up damn well. And considering how we’ve been swamped with bad CGI over the past decade…it’s refreshing to know that there are some things CGI simply cannot do. It can’t build a creature as terrifying as “The Things” And it can’t build the paranoia, claustrophobia, fear and horror that still seeps through every frame of “The Thing” RATING: 10 out of 10 maggots BBB Rating (2/3) (Blood – buckets and buckets of it, severed limbs, severed heads, etc. Babes – none to be found, an excellent decision. Balls – This movie could have taken the easy way out a number of times, it didn’t. They might win at the end…but only death is waiting for them) CLICK HERE FOR AN INTERVIEW WITH STAR KEITH DAVID!
|
HOME
BLOGS
|
|||
.jpg)